I saw this on the internet today. I truly love it.
I find
this current journey in life interesting. I am not
sure what it is about it that is so different. Why I am in such a different
place at this current moment. I often feel overwhelmed and just in this deep
thirst for closeness to our Heavenly Father.
I look
forward to my morning bible study every morning, so much so that I might just
sit and ponder over something in the bible at night while my daughter does
homework and I am there just for moral support. Just last night I read through Ecclesiastes.
Still felt a little "off/empty" started into Psalms.
I can't
quite put my finger on it. I am not sure if it is just the constant stress that
surrounds us, the kids being in their junior year and nearly done with school
and the stress of their schedules and homework, along with my son's in
college.. the list could truly go on. I just need something. I don't know what.
I keep praying for direction.
I miss
bible study at church. I never really had a connection of fellowship at church
but I miss those small little tid bits that made a difference in my week. I
miss getting out of the house and away from things for just a bit. Tuesday
nights are rough though, homework is always intense these days and its hard to
get away.
As soon
as I looked into a bible study at another church for Wednesday mornings, our
financial problems hit with vehicles. Full on hit, they haven't stopped. Now I
have a ride either from a friend who will do child care or the young girl
staying with us but it feels like its asking a lot. I was longing to do the
bible study. I thought maybe this is it. I have been praying so much, I feel I
could pray for hours sometimes. I don't really have anyone to relate to in my
current situation. I don't have a friend that has time to listen, spend time in
the word with, great a bond. Does this even happen in the generation we live
anymore?
I desire
this small community, you know like the Amish books where you have this group
of women that quilt and can and support one another. I want to truly dig into
my prayer life, into the word of the lord, feel close to him.
I used to
share that with my mom. We did bible study together every day and would share
with one another what we had read and what we would learn, how we could pray
for one another. I had moments like this with my husbands mom as well. I
cherish those past moments.
Life sure
does pass us by so quickly. There was a time that I could not wait for PTO and
busy schedules to be over, it took so much time, yet I had people I went to
lunch with, laughed with and volunteered with. Now most days are alone, kids
are busy, life is empty but busy and I struggle to feel closer to God while
life feels so unbelievably alone.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment
Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24