What Am I Learning Friday

Wow this week just seems to have dragged on and flew by all in the same moment. I have been so out of it. Been out of it with my Blog, just not even wanting to write, that is unusual for me. I have been drained- so tired not just physically but emotionally and spiritually too. I missed church being out of town his past weekend and boy can I tell. I love music worship time, it just energizes my soul. I have had so much to do- dishes, wash, normal kids stuff like homework. Even babysat my friends child for her on Thursday- that was an all day event and worked Mon and Wed mornings caring for Anne. I just did not find the strength to write. I wanted to just stay in bed and hibernate. I have tried praying and searching for this hole in my being to just be filled back up.

I am not quite sure what is bothering me, I think I have learned this week that I just need to be able to allow myself to grief. How funny does that sound? You would think being an adult I would realize that. What I realized was I am fighting it. I want to think I should be able to get back into the swing of things. I flew back into Texas on Sunday. Completely drained from all the events of my trip. Got to bed late that Sunday night, got up on time Monday to go to work and was so exhausted I came home and took a nap. I even slept in late, nearly until noon Tue, went to work Wed and came home and wanted to do nothing again. Then watched a little toddler all Thur and was down again today. Just amazing! I have gotten little things done so I don't want to say I am depressed just not my normal self just yet.

Partially stress over all the unsettled work- wash that is done and not put away, dishes that even though I clean seem to reappear to be washed again so quickly and kids that are learning division in school and are completely lost. Of course they started last week and I was not here so I missed their important week and now we are onto harder aspects. I learned that things take time. It reminded me of a very important scripture, also a book I have, that maybe I should re-read.

As for the bible part- you probably could guess what I will share since I mentioned the word Time, and it is one of the most famous chapters in the bible, songs even written after it, books written about it, sermons, debates, lectures in college...

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his toil?

10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.
16 And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I thought in my heart, "God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed."
18 I also thought, "As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.

19 Man's fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath ; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless.

20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.

21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?"
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

So I thought that maybe it is my time to grief this week, maybe I shouldn't fret and be too hard on myself that I have four quilt orders that are not done, yet the deadline approaches. Maybe just maybe the heart is just as important as our physical self. I have a secret pal who just suggested that I do something for me, maybe a small project etc and maybe that will help me feel a little better, while I had the same thought, it seemed like Godly wisdom coming from this secret person I do not know yet. So as this weekend approaches I want to take Time to spend with my family. My son turned 11 this today and we are celebrating him all weekend. We have some odd traditions in my family, but I figure we will cook, play games and celebrate life and each other, letting my grief lay aside and turning the time for something new. All I know is it is wonderful that we all still have more Time. For that I give much Praise and Thanksgiving to God!