|Sometimes I truly have the worst time sleeping. Its been especially hard since I moved the television out of our bedroom. I can't explain why I did that, I just felt like it was necessary. Last night I had my second occurrence of my blood sugar crashing at 2 am. I had to get up, get something to eat, even though we had a good dinner with lots of protein. I have been struggling more with headaches, neck pain and depression/anxiety. I realize the weather hasn't been great. With no heat the house is pretty much always cold. I am thankful when the sun comes out, as it warms some of the rooms pretty well. After eating I was pretty wide awake. I tried going back to sleep. I laid there forever it seemed. I got back up with bible, devotion, kindle and pen in tow...and sat for some time with the Lord.|
I know I have had quite a bit on my mind. I know I have been cleaning a great deal and not really putting time into quilting. I realize that creates a bipolar mixture that is tough to handle. As I sat and read my Women of Faith devotion it focused on the same exact lesson as the pastors sermon Sunday morning. It was amazing to see how the two were so connected. I felt convicted. I am great at Chronos time vs Kairos time. I make lists, I plan, I get quite a bit done. I don't take time for me very often, I don't relax, I don't go on vacations and I don't get away and am rarely spontaneous. I learned most of all that I need REST. That even though I have a TO DO LIST, its a WANT list not a MUST list. It was very enlightening.
I admit I had to stay up a while and I played a word game on my husbands kindle then tried again to sleep. I slept off and on for a bit and then was up for my day.
I am thankful for the realization that the Lord needed me to wake so he could speak to me, the house is quiet at 3 am, my mind was empty, I wasn't rushed and hurried to do the next thing. I understand why he decides to wake me. Most of all I need to not be anxious and keep leaning on Him.