Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
I am learning something interesting this year. It almost seems a little selfish or shallow to admit too but I am going to anyway because that is part of our Christian journey together- to be real with each other and God.
See I threw my husband a mediocre 40th birthday party this past June. I wanted to invite tons of family and friends but he is always out of town for his birthday and well our house would not seat guests so I had to settle. He was still very appreciative and surprised. He was probably even more surprised to find that I made him a Queen Size Tshirt Quilt- all secretively! I am thankful my son Jakob helped me quilt it, not sure how I would have done it otherwise, its a lot of material to push through a sewing machine.
My birthday approaches next week. One I miss my mom terribly still. I would have gotten a card in the mail by now. This year once again I have none. That saddens me some. Amazing how we miss the small stuff right?
So then I wanted to see the movie Courageous, with Paul, and go to dinner. That is kind of expensive since the only movie theater around that is showing it costs between $9.50 and $12.50. Even for two of us I can't justify that. I do think it would be a great movie for him to see.
I had also thought of the fact that we have not gotten away together in forever without any kids. I think his mom was still alive and she passed away in 2005 so its been a while. So I wanted to go to Galveston, stay the night. Once again the issue of money arose. I just put money into the truck and into 2 lightweight jackets for the younger two. It really depleted all I had saved.
I push back to what are the basics- accept the money issue- what is it I want.
I want a CLEAN HOUSE!
Pretty simple I thought.
I figure we can work in a cake and a good meal and all eat together. Just enjoy one another.
My plan was to make a list and then all work together this weekend and next weekend and that could be everyone's birthday back to me. I have projects really that need to be done in order to achieve my desire. Like building a plate rack in the kitchen, hanging a pot rack I purchased a year ago, the list continues with painting some walls etc.
Well I am sad to see that no one is real interested. Everyone is pretty busy. I know my birthday will come and go. We will have a cake because I printed the request out from the store online order site so that my husband can drop it off. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting more.
More than anything I learned this week my mom always requesting small little things from us. They truly were valid requests. She didn't want us to buy her something, she just wanted time, just wanted thoughtfulness, something little that was just for her. I totally get that now. I am sure one day my children will too.
For now I hold to my desires, I pray that some of the items on my list will be completed.