This week I had the chance to attend a women's bible study/get together on Wednesday night. It was such a roller coaster of a day for me that I really debated going. Paul got home late, the tire on the truck needed more air, it was just one of those days. I just really wanted to sit and cry and pray. You know its kind of funny because I went to the bible study and did anyway. What I felt was good is that most of the women are in my same life path. They are real and they are hungry for God. They want to be close to Him, Learn more from him and have a wonderful family life. Family seemed very important to every woman present for different reasons. I was so thankful for that night because in most groups I have belonged to its not very real. I had not intended to share what was on my heart. I walked in there with a front on and God tore it all down. He refused to let me control my emotions too. What was nice was that everyone of these women were willing to pray for me, for our family. They were willing to share love and acceptance.
What I have been learning this week is how long it can take for prayer to be answered. I have had two prayers on my heart from the very beginning of moving to Texas. One is for a close relationship with a group of women that are Christians. For that relationship to be real, be built on trust and be one that can involve prayer and support. I think that he finally gave that to me this week. Maybe I just wasn't quite ready before. I think part of it was I have spent the majority of my adult life caring for others. Now I think the Lord knows that the tables need to be turned a little so I can refuel and continue to do what his desires are for me.
I also learned that the Lord really does grab a hold of you sometimes. Sometimes in ways you can't imagine. I had one lady ask me if I had read Stormie Omartian's book the Power of a praying wife. I replied that I had, it has been a many years ago though. Then I was just blown away to come home and get an email from an online friend with the same request. I think God was telling me, "Hey you aren't listening!" I immediately stopped and said, "Okay Lord I know this is you." I had forgotten an important prayer that she has in this book, one I used to pray for my husband with his mom daily, (when I was caring for her). Now don't get me wrong I pray for my husband every day, several times sometimes. This prayer though is specific, and for me so important as we continue to try and have victory of choices we make in our lives.
The prayer says, " Lord, I pray for my husband and ask You to give him wisdom for every decision he makes. May he reverence You and Your ways and seek to know Your truth. Help him every day to make Godly choices, especially in the areas of..." (here you fill in the blanks)
There is another that is very similar,it states,
"Lord, I pray that You would strengthen my husband to resist any temptation that comes his way. Stamp it out of his mind before it ever reaches his heart or personal experience, especially in the area of..."
I find it interesting how life can get so busy that you forget little things you read like this. I like the directness of prayer. I know that God already knows what we need, desire and fear. I like to also think that if I can pray specifically for him, or my children, or myself and have others pray with me in the same fashion that it will be a good thing (for lack of a better way to put that).
I look to where I was Sunday last week, how raw I was emotionally and praise God for that. I know that he needed to strip me to the core, allow me to hurt so that he could build me back up by placing some other women in my life. I am so thankful he continues to give me strength but is making me realize more and more he intended their to be fellowship in our lives for a reason, and I need to not be so stubborn and try to do everything alone.