My husband and I went out yesterday afternoon for an early anniversary lunch. Since my mom's passing I have really focused even more on our marriage. I want one that is more grounded in each other. I find that all around me are couples who have children go off to college and then they are getting divorced. In some cases there are families who still have some children at home and some away where this is happening. I do not want to be one of these statistics. I really truly believe that it takes a great deal of effort and courage to make a marriage work. Its so very hard at times as we tend to grow apart from one another as we seek our own ideas and possibilities in the world. The one area that we need to keep us grounded together is our shared vision in Christ. I have fought a great deal over the last 16 years with that idea. I wanted a more combined grounded relationship. A few years back I decided to just continue to grow in my faith and allow God to impress upon my husband this importance for us.
Back in June my mom and I discussed this desire a great deal. My husband was headed out of town and my mothers prayer was that something so significant would happen that it would cause him to cling to his wife and family and that my deep desire would be fulfilled. There were other aspects in this prayer but this was her main desire. A month later she would find herself called to the Lord and my world in a way was shattered as I knew it.
While at lunch I asked my husband a very difficult question, "What in this next year would you like us to improve upon?" I then followed that question with a statement, I am not referring to the house, the kids, the bills, our finances but us directly. He then responded, "I want a more biblical relationship with you, we have never really had that." I could see my mother smiling down and from that moment my heart severely ached. A kind of ache I had not yet experienced. The reason? Well, a few years back when I felt our marriage was over, more because I was depleted and spent over caring for my mother in law for three years while managing a family with three very small children, my mother said to me that once my husband had a desire for a more biblical relationship my road would be difficult. Here I was at a turning point and I so wanted to share in that moment with her.
Last night we begun to catch up on our One Year Bible Readings. I have done this on my own for quite some time. We have tried as a couple but when the kids were young it was difficult, as they became older we became busier and it just never seemed to click. We would get part way through the year and then fail. We would get discouraged when we would miss a day and we simply just did not take the time. This year we decided that time is of the essence. It is funny how death makes us evaluate life. While reading Jan 2 I came across a verse that spoke to my heart- which is the reason for today's post.
It comes from Proverbs chapter 1 verses 7-9
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
My mother has taught me that patience truly is a virtue, that by prayer and petition the Lord will fulfill the desires of a woman's heart. That I must wait for the Lord to work within my husband, to change him and mold him in order to have the relationship that He intended for us to have.
My husband has never read the bible all the way through, but he thirsts for the truth and wants this for his life now, so I am intrigued to see what this year will bring for both of us and I am pleased that the Lord has finally answered my cry for more. I am also thankful that I had such a great example, for I know through sight that my parents marriage was anything but easy.. a road I often find myself traveling along.