Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I have a very thankful heart tonight when I think of my dad. I just got done watching the movie My Sisters Keeper. I had read the book and decided it was not a movie I could watch in the theater. I could not believe the differences at first but once I got past that the movie was very healing for me. See my dad got Leukemia shortly after my oldest Jakob was born. We had gone out to have him baptized in April of 1996. My dad was not feeling well and chalked it up to the flu. However, shortly after returning home I got a call that he had been diagnosed with Leukemia. Being in Texas and my family in California I was so torn emotionally. It was so hard to see my brother in his last year of High School have to really pick up an adult role in life. I had this brand new baby so even if I were to come back to CA and try and help what use would I really be. That is what Paul's mom convinced me of anyway. Everyone told me the best thing that I could do was pray. There is nothing much like helplessness.
See I am not biologically his child, even though I consider him fully my dad, father etc...the part about not being biologically his was tough as I knew beyond a doubt I could not be a match. I think that was the first time I felt so far apart from him. I knew how hard it was on my mom emotionally and physically. It was a fairly long road but after time things really did turn around.
I saw him in June when my brother graduated. That was rough. I remember not wanting to leave at all. I was so thankful to even just be able to see him in the hospital, as I had brought Jakob with me.
I know there were things that went on that I will probably never really understand as I was absent from 98% of it. I am so thankful tonight as I write this Thursday post that the Lord healed him. He has been in remission for several years now. I know sometimes it is so hard to believe. I remember the "numbers" the doctors give, the facts of the case... it all really showed how truly wonderful healing can be.
I know I think of my mom often with that. I don't always understand why she has to go through such a rough physical journey in life. Even though she mainly has rough days I am still thankful she is here. I will continue to pray for her healing and be ever so thankful that we are all in the Lord's Hands.
I love you Daddy.