Proverbs Friday

Proverbs 4:8

Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. (NIV)

Digging Deeper 

Cherish: to hold or treat as dear, feel love for, imply giving affection, care, or shelter to something.

 

Honor: a source of credit or distinction, high respect, as for worth, merit, to show courteous regard for.

I love this verse. I wish all husbands had this verse on a little card in their wallet and they had to read it once a day. More than that I wish children read this verse every day. I can honestly say there are times I do not feel cherished, there are times where my attitude towards my husband or child does not warrant the emotion of embracing them. So often we feel taken for granted. Maybe taken for granted for the things that we do for them such as cooking dinner, the dishes, the wash, cleaning the house.

Often in my house I will ask- “* will you go unload the dishwasher please?”

Response typically from * is “I did it last time, why can’t * do it?”

This past couple of months this response has gotten worse and worse.

I don’t think children and husbands always realize how much we do around our house or that if they would kindly pick up after themselves, their clothes, dishes, and their rooms
that our work would like be cut by ¾ ths.

I love my children and my husband. I love cooking for them and don’t mind cleaning up after them-within reason. I do expect them to respond correctly to my request to unload the dishwasher, change the wash out or clean the bathroom when necessary.
It is good to teach them responsibility and participation in a household.Sometimes that teaching even comes to my husband not just my children.

I love when they actively will do something without my request or without the idea of getting something in return. My daughter is famous for cleaning the bathroom late at night in order to surprise me first thing in the morning. My son is famous for cooking us a breakfast or taking care of some wash. My other son he is more an outdoor kid. He will bring in wood for the fireplace or get me the mail. My husband will wash all the big dishes for me. He is also good at cooking dinner when I don't have a crock pot meal planned and have a quilt to finish up. Those are all things that show me they cherish me that they care. They are very much appreciated.
In return I would just like to say that in order to get respect, feel cherished, feel the embrace back we must also realize their limitations. My children all do have responsibility in our home however their primary job is school, as my husbands is work. When either is overwhelming it is my job to pick up that slack and maybe just maybe take over that chore for that day- sometimes week and/or transfer the job to another child. You really have to work together in order to feel like everyone is pulling their weight and keep things from becoming somewhat hateful in your home. I find that I really do not like arguing and fighting so for me this is a very important reality. In order for it all to work we have to all remember to communicate our needs. Not always so easy.

Proverb Friday

Proverbs 3:17

"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace."

In order to dig deeper I thought it would be good to look at the definitions of the two main words in this Proverb.

Definition of Peace:

A state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations. Freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility; serenity.  To be or become silent. Keep the peace, to maintain order; cause to refrain from creating a disturbance

Definition of Pleasant

Pleasing, agreeable, or enjoyable; giving pleasure

Welcome, gratifying. 2.  Delightful, congenial, friendly

This verse can be applied to many areas of our lives as women. We can really affect the lives of those around us. I think of the saying, “If mamas not happy, nobodies happy.” In many ways that is true. Our body language really makes a difference from the very beginning of our day. I enjoy some basic qualities of this verse. I love being delightful, pleasant and friendly. I think as wives and mothers this verse as much wisdom to take from.

Here are some basics of how to try and be pleasant and keep peace.

Try not to NAG

Try not to pick fights

Try to remember the good things- keep that as your list, not the mess ups. (Keeping score is a bad idea)

Try to do little things- make a favorite meal, play their favorite game etc..

Watch your tone- I will say more often than not if an argument starts in my house it is due to the TONE I used.

Then of course no name calling, pointing at faults and the like, it never is a positive thing.

If my family had one good thing to say about me in this area it is that I am in a good mood most of the time. I try to take the time out of my schedule for them, Give them attention when they need it and I try to think of everyone when planning my week. From what they like to eat, what homework or project needs to be done, planning a game night or movie night…

 I work hard to keep things as fair and peaceful as I can. The biggest thing is building each other up and not tearing each other down, sometimes the best thing I can do in a situation is remain quiet.