WordFilled Wednesday

The Lord's Will

"For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." Philippians 2:13

I think the hardest part of faith sometimes is the not knowing. I am thankful today that I am one more step to having some answers. My dr appt today is at 12:15, I really can't wait. I would like to know about my bloodwork and then also just set an appointment for our next step. 

I am so thankful for my dad, I miss my mom through this, I miss her encouraging words. I was blessed on Sunday with a friend that invited us over for dinner. She took a moment for her husband, herself, my husband and myself to all join hands around a table and she spoke some words of prayer over us. It was exactly what I needed at that moment. I knew the Lord knew that. I have had a couple others email or message and they too have let me know that they are praying. I love that encouragement. I truly understand the power of prayer. It is a very personal response for me.

My dad was diagnosed with Leukemia back in 1996. We had gone home to California to visit and towards the end of the visit he started to get sick. Jakob was just two months old. When I got back here to Texas, I got a phone call shortly after to let me know that something was terribly wrong. My dad had never been sick. We always used his sick days to go on summer vacations and travel. Here I was with the rug just pulled directly out from under us. I could not test to be a blood match because I was one not his blood type and two not his natural daughter, he adopted my sister and I when I was 4 years old. I will never forget how scared I was for him, for my mom and for my brother who was a graduating senior that year. My mother in law Joyce said the best thing I could do was pray. That is exactly what we did, constantly, for the next year.

He has Type AB- blood, not very common. He had some other issues and my brother, his only natural son, was AB without the negative, he was not a donor either. He did have living parents, also not a match and one sister, the same situation, no match. He would be in the hospital for a very long time. My mom basically moved in with him, into that hospital room. They harvested his own system of stuff- I don't know all the technical terms, and then he was able to freeze some and use some and basically rebuild his system. I never stopped asking for prayer for him. I called TBN, radio stations, online systems. I was seeking world prayer. I was not willing to give up, even though the doctors said there was not much chance.

That moment saved my parents. They had an okay marriage before then, they had, like us been through so many battles in their marriage. So many times it seemed it might be over. That brought my dad closer to God, he truly accepted him as his personal savior. My mom would pray with him, it was what our family needed. My dad would tell you, well maybe not all of you, because he is very private that even though it was a tough battle, it was worth it. They had so much time together. They learned to cherish moments. They took trips, they valued one another. They fell in love with each other and the Lord more than ever before. 

As I look at this situation I realize that truly I have nothing to fear. My mother in law Joyce would quote me this if she was still here,  

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

My mom would tell me worrying was useless, she is right, and she would tell me 

I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 

I am thankful this morning to think back on my parents marriage. I do not know what footsteps the Lord has planned for my family come tomorrow. I have faith that if needed he will provide us support and love. I pray that no matter the outcome that it will move in my husband to leave his old world behind and become more in love with Christ then ever before. I pray that the Lord's will truly be done, not mine. I pray for Philippians 2:13 today, as I deeply want to always try to stop and listen and do what He desires.

"For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

 

Menu Plan Monday

This week it is so hot so we actually are doing something different menu wise. I am purchasing lunchmeat, cheese, rolls, veggies, fruit and salad fixings. We will be eating sandwiches, salads, fruit and veggies tray's all week. With back to school, volunteering and other activities we are just too busy to cook so its more  fend for yourself  when you get hungry. I am curious to see if it is any cheaper to eat this way. I doubt it. :-)

Turkey Sandwich

Ham Sandwich

Club Sandwich

Tuna Sandwich

Grilled Cheese

Chef Salad

Taco Salad

Potato Salad
For more menu planning ideas please see Orgjunkie.com

Monday Minutes

Matthew 6:31-32 

³¹ So do not start worrying:
         Where will my food come from? or my drink? or my clothes?³² (These are the things the pagans are always concerned about.) Your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things.

This summer Jakob really needed to work hard at community service hours. This led me to look to our community. He was not looking to work in a pet hospital or something like that. He really wanted to work somewhere that made a difference. My first thought was Society of Samaritans because we had received indirect help from them when I lost my care giving job a couple years back.

I feel so blessed to have been able to help this organization. I strictly work at their clothing location for now. There are times that one or both boys volunteer with me and there are others where I go alone. I know what it is to have to go without food so our children will have something to eat, or what it is to have to wash every night because they only have one or two pairs of jeans. We have struggled with being able to provide their school needs for a great portion of our marriage. 

I am so thankful for organizations like this. Today and Tomorrow they will be providing back to school clothing and supplies to well over 100 children. Without this ministry many of these children would not even have new and used clothing provided much less backpacks. I am thankful I was able to work so many hours to help them be prepared for this morning. I am also thankful that they were able to provide to our family this year since I didn't sell a single quilt then entire month of July. That does not normally happen. Usually I can sell a couple a month. I believe the Lord decided a better use of my time was serving them, so that in return someone else could help us. 

As you go through your week this week, ask yourself if there is something you can do in your community. Is there a neighbor that needs their lawn mowed, is there someone in your area that is elderly and might need a home cooked meal, is their an organization where you can donate a couple hours of your time. Sometimes there are even things you can do out of your home to help others. There are even others that simply could use someone to visit them because they are shut-ins. There are so many ways we can use our talents and times to help others. I challenge you to find something small, I promise it will make a huge difference in your life and in the lifes of others.

Sunday Awe

I just want to start by apologizing, this will not really be a typical uplifting post with bible verses, thought out words and prayer. This is truly a heartfelt splurge of randomness in order for me to go on about my day and have the strength I need to get through this week. I know we all have these moments...
First I ask for you to pray over our family, we are going to be in need of prayer for several months. I can with 100% certainty tell you that the devil is working very hard to prevent the changes the Lord has for us. I have never cried in church like I did this morning. Tears of pain, tears of anger, tears of hurt, tears of deep deep sorrow. I had not felt the hurt I felt this morning in some time. The message was one of hope at the same time it made me feel so terribly guilty. I don't know why this weekend played out the way it did, where my husband missed two very important events that could have been the start to possibly changing our lives for the better. I am praying that God was just not quite ready. Maybe his heart was not ready, maybe he would not have heard the words that were spoke today the same way I heard them. Maybe it was meant for my youngest son to sit there today with me alone, while I basically melted down in church. I actually had to get up and leave and barely made it to the truck, I almost could not walk that is how overcome I was just with raw emotion.
Some of you that follow my blog know our deep story. The struggles we have faced and why. You know how hard of a path we have faced and that even now as I continue to pray and be a strong supportive wife and mother I wait for answers and changes. Today I sat in church just pleading with the Lord for it to be now. The testimony that was spoken was one that were words I would love to hear, it was God showing me that He can do it, that it does take time and that he was providing us with the people to help us. We have sought help before and to be brutally honest were so let down.
Today I feel tired, I feel sad, in some ways I feel betrayed. There is just this little spot of hope and there is this huge spot of fear. Fear that we have been here before. Fear that we are about to endure some very difficult times and I am so raw that I don't know that I can do it alone. I know I have the Lord in my life, I feel his presence every day. I just also know that I need more. I need friends, I need support from others. It is very real for the first time in my life. I look at the fact that I need more tests done and in a way sit and wonder if the Lord really is going to allow my fears in order to do His Work. On my drive home I prayed, "Lord let your will be done." I am ready to possibly face this challenge, this chapter in our lives, if this is what will help change my husband. If this is what will help bring him closer to the Lord and to us.
So please pray for us. I do not know what battles we are about to face but I can feel the storm approaching. I am planting my feet firmly in him and no matter what I am not walking away. Even though I can't stop shedding tears today I know that I feel excitement that one day we will be the family he intended us to be, its exciting that this may really be our time..

Saturday Scripture Speaks

This weeks Saturday Scripture Speaks is based on waiting. If you know my personality waiting is not something I typically do well. I am a go get em person. I like answers pretty quickly. I like to get things done in a timely manner too. The Lord is definitely teaching me how to wait. My mom would probably laugh because she would see my leg shaking back and forth and know I am trying very hard to be patient.

I think waiting and patience really go hand in hand. I think of a dr office, you wait in waiting room and sometimes that takes a great deal of patience- even if its just a general appointment. Lately I tend to know a lot about waiting at dr offices, for test results and for phone calls.

The Lord has some very important words to say about waiting, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Psalms 27:14 KJV)

Right now I feel a great need for courage. I know the Lord has a plan, I know he already knows the answers I seek, I know that many people have traveled this same path, with the same feelings of uncertainty. I also know that no matter the outcome I will be provided for. I take comfort in that.

I also look at how waiting takes strength. A great deal of strength. I lean on His Word for that. I lean on others sometimes for that too. I was able to talk to both of my dad's today on the phone. I forget sometimes how much I gain from them strength wise. I am thankful to have a Heavenly Father to lean on for that as well,

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.” (Psalms 46:1-3 KJV)

Lastly when I think of waiting and patience, strength and courage I can draw on memories of my mother. In this one moment in life I need her more than anything. I know she would understand my fears and concerns. I know that she would give me verses of strength. I know she would tell me this one verse more than any others,

“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:29-31 KJV)

I have much to be grateful for as I approach this coming week. As I take this next steps with doctors not quite knowing what is yet to come. Praying that its just all okay and we are just taking precautions, also knowing that the outcome could be very different. I am grateful that if the Lord's plan  is different then mine he has already provided me with a wonderful friend to walk this journey with. In all other times that we have seen hardship that has always been a missing situation. I am thankful that he has molded me to reach out no matter the outcome. There is much to be said for waiting and patience. I am glad I do not pray for either of those but that I pray for strength and courage.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Following 31: New Giveaway - Stacks of Books!

Great New Giveaway for Book Lovers- Esp if you love Christian books. Go check it out and spread the word-
Winners will be chosen via Random.org. No special treatment is given for friends or family, so everyone can feel free to enter - just be sure that you live in the United States (48 lower states), please.
Following 31: New Giveaway - Stacks of Books!

Thankful Thursday

I am so thankful for my study on time this week. I got a new devotional from Women of Faith- I love their little spiral notebooks. They are quick, precise and help me think/reflect. This one is called "Making the most of your resources: How Do I manage my time, energy and money?" I am just starting out but it really is going along with how I have felt this summer. I wanted to make some life changes and I think God is really helping me to do that. Outside of just trying to get my health in order I have never felt better emotionally or spiritually. There is much to be said about that and I am very grateful to the Lord for this refreshing provision.

This week we looked at Job 37:14-24

¹⁴ “Listen to this, Job;
   stop and consider God’s wonders.
¹⁵ Do you know how God controls the clouds
   and makes his lightning flash?
¹⁶ Do you know how the clouds hang poised,
   those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?
¹⁷ You who swelter in your clothes
   when the land lies hushed under the south wind,
¹⁸ can you join him in spreading out the skies,
   hard as a mirror of cast bronze?

 ¹⁹ “Tell us what we should say to him;
   we cannot draw up our case because of our darkness.
²⁰ Should he be told that I want to speak?
   Would anyone ask to be swallowed up?
²¹ Now no one can look at the sun,
   bright as it is in the skies
   after the wind has swept them clean.
²² Out of the north he comes in golden splendor;
   God comes in awesome majesty.
²³ The Almighty is beyond our reach and exalted in power;
   in his justice and great righteousness, he does not oppress.
²⁴ Therefore, people revere him,
   for does he not have regard for all the wise in heart?^[a]”

This week I am thankful that I can reflect on the wonders of God- he is really showing me friendship this week. I am building friendships, renewing friendships and getting so much support from people who are giving us their old items so that my children will have what they need for school. I have gone through most of my adult life not seeking friendship. I am thankful he is opening my heart to have them, and showing me why we need them. Its been such a blessing this week.

WordFilled Wednesday

     This week Word Filled Wednesday focuses on Sharing. The last couple weeks I seem to have been a "dumping ground" for lack of a better word of clothes, shoes and other items. At first I questioned why I have all this stuff that does not fit any of us. This week I came across some answers. The first items were intended for Mekenzei, right now she is in a size 12, these were all 14-18 for the most part. I had her look through them and I think she saved two pair of pants that she knows she would wear next year. Everything else she had me donate- this will be a huge blessing to some girls next week when they come to SOS to get school clothes. There were so many really nice items. I was thankful she did not want to hoard everything for herself and she realized that there might be someone right now that had a need more important then her possible need next year.

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.  Hebrews 13:16

     A friend of Paul's at work has a girlfriend who went through all her clothing that had been in storage. She thought of it might fit me. I was pretty excited to see box after box that Paul brought in. I admit that none of it fit. I had mentioned something to a friend about all the items that I had that I needed help dropping off on Saturday. I told her how I had so many 10,12 and 14 clothing items. She needed some 14's. Today I was able to sort through everything and save her all of them. She will be surprised at how many very nice items she will now have.
     Today's example made me think about a verse I had read once. I had to look it up, it says,

 

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

     You know this friend I just gave a bunch of clothes to, asked me to fill out a form to get help for the kids a couple weeks back, she really wanted to help provide for them, she had needed a dresser a couple weeks ago and I had dropped one I had and was not using off at her house. I really had prayed about the form, I had even filled it out. I just felt bad about getting the help. Then I thought of this verse.

    This morning I met a lady who was working with me, she shared a little bit of her story, how she was living with her mom, how she had gained some weight and had enough money to buy a pair of shorts from where we were working on Saturday. I asked her what size she was in. To my surprise it was a 12. Imagine that- all those clothes that I had gotten and most of them were in 12's and 14's. I promised to bring them to her on Saturday since she did not have a vehicle and could not come get them or meet me somewhere. 

By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others.. 2 Corinthians 9:13

     I look at both of these situations, someone was trying to bless us in both cases. The Lord had a greater plan. I could have not had conversations with either of these women. I could have not shared with them my story of need, which led to their story of need, and me having an answer  for them through someone else. It all seems rather complicated but at the same time its tiny foot steps for God. He planted all those seeds, he just needed me to do the watering. I think the biggest blessing is I can show Christ's Love for others. I did have a lot of work to do in order to provide specifically for both of these women. Yet my blessing of feeling great at the end of the day for being able to bless others is far greater and more meaningful then all that work.

And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.” Luke 3:11

Monday Minutes

I am so thankful I believe in the power of prayer. I have really been going to God's Word lately to get exact bible verses to pray for our various situations. I have been working hard to not try and control situations in our household too, sometimes that proves very difficult. I tend to pray and then think okay this is how it needs to be done. Lately, I have had a different approach. I pray, I listen, I pray, I wait, I pray more, I ask others to pray, I am still waiting and then an answer seems to come. I admit that sometimes the answers are very small like today, but for me it is HUGE!

Today a huge blessing occurred. The two boys had to go to service with us. The message was something that they needed to hear as deeply as Paul. It brought to mind my study lately of Colossians 3. I prayed before church, that everyone would have an open mind. That they would feel welcomed and loved. The message today was on reading your bible, being active in Christ, service... all the things I have been focusing on for my family, trying to encourage them to participate in. When we left church Jakob started the conversation. He said he liked it. He said it was better then where we had been attending. Can I get an Amen? 

I wanted to cry, I felt this huge relief. He was excited that there is a bible study for his age. So far he had not been able to ever participate in one before. I will make sure we find out what night is it is on so he can go. Zekaryah liked the music a lot, they sang one of his favorite songs. I was again pleased. Then the true change of heart was when Paul said, you know I was thinking, we said we would give things until the end of the summer but really I think in order to know if the church will suit us, we need to get involved. I want to know people, be able to talk before and maybe after the service. He wanted to know people's names. He was very excited about this next weekend's men's trip. He was being open hearted. He then said, I would like to give it sixth months. Commit to the church for sixth months, maybe help set up once in a while, serve at SOS when they do etc. He then said the next answer to a question I had- we are tithing now to this new church because it is now our home. PRAISE GOD! I am so thrilled. 

I will be honest. I wanted to push, shove, scream, pull hair, to get my way. See I knew where we were supposed to be, at least for this journey in our lives. I had to step back, trust God and let Him do the work. I can guarantee you after my disappointment over last week that HE sure worked a whole lot quicker than I could have. Prayer really was the way to tackle this situation. I am thankful I heard God this time, that I waited, was submissive to my husband, mindful of my children.

 Colossians and Ephesians both have something similar verse wise, it goes like this

 ¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

I admit I had to be compassionate and patient. I had to also have some forgiveness too. I had been a little resentful a year ago about the fact that my husband was not READY to be the head of our household. It was hard to always be the strong one, be the one that sought God, be the one to pray, be the one to be a Christ-like example. What I was forgetting is it was my job to plant the seed. My husband said he sees how Happy I am. he said he wants some of that. I am going to enjoy this next sixth months. Please pray for us as we truly start this journey. I know that we are going to face more obstacles potentially then we ever have before. I know the devil is going to try and discourage us and we have to push even harder. I welcome the challenge because I know at the end of the day we have a Mighty God.  

Menu Plan Monday

This weeks menu (been a while since we posted one of these- its been kid crazy around here for a while)

This week I ask for prayer. I have blood work taken Tuesday morning and since they have found/felt a couple things I go in for a Mammogram right after. I have been trying not to worry. Tuesday cannot come quick enough. I am not looking forward to it.

Monday

Breakfast Tacos 

(eggs, bacon, potato and salsa for those that want it)

Tuesday 

( I have a meeting Paul is cooking)

Tostadas

Wednesday- 

Mekenzei helps cook

Pancakes and Eggs

Thursday

Enchiladas and Beans

Bean Burrito for Jakob

Friday

Pauls on a Men's Trip- Jakob cooks

Corn Dogs and Tator Tots

Saturday 

Game or Movie Night- Zekaryah cooks

HomeMade Pizza on French Bread/Spaghetti for Jakob

Sunday

BBQ Something- Paul cooks
For more menu planning ideas please see Orgjunkie.com